He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
