He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
