Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
