So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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