for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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