You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
