I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize