i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.