So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.