You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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