I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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