I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
