I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize