i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
