just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
