Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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