what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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