She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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