Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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