you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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