What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
