As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
