So drunk its hurt
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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