Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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