My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
wow bdsm is so cute
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
