Don't you send me to vm
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
