You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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