hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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