So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
