I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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