I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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