Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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