a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
