I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
