dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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