He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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