too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize