I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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