Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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