This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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