u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
