I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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