You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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