He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
