you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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