Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I will pee on everything he values.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
