That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
