I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
