So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
