his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
