Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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