I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
