We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
