we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it because I queefed?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
