Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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