and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
