Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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